Ten year anniversaries of your birth date are always exciting and are a definite cause for celebration!

For some, this can be a great time for reflection and to look back at what you have achieved and how you have enjoyed your life so far. For others, reaching such a milestone can be a bit troubling, as you may fret whether you have really achieved enough and where you might be in another ten years.

We should all reflect on our stage in life, where we are personally, financially and emotionally. And sometimes the woman who is raising her family when she reaches the big four-oh may reflect a bit on her sex appeal and wonder whether she has still “got it!”

It’s very true to say that we all become more philosophical as we age. Being philosophical is a result of experience as we have a lot to reflect on and a lot of positive knowledge to put in place. During our development as a human being, each milestone that we get to represents a significant achievement and a time for us to reflect and reinterpret our memories. As such, considering whether you are sexy or not as a 40-something mum will undoubtedly unveil a whole list of different answers than it would if you were 30.

Things get better as we age, and as a 40-year-old mum, we are emotionally and mentally more secure and this by itself adds to our sexuality. We don’t feel insecure and have a certain amount of natural dignity which comes with our position.

We are much more composed, and know how to deal with any situation when it arises by displaying a sassy attitude, allowing us to feel inherently good about ourselves and to resolve problems with a lot more ease.

Thankfully, professional coaching solutions exist for mums at every stage of their life journey and can often help us to come to terms with our milestones. The word “sexy” means different things to different people and will certainly have its own interpretation in your eyes.

Maturity teaches us to celebrate everything we have, and make the most of how we look, even though we will certainly be different today than we were back then. Take a leaf from the page of those old screen heroines and present your best side to whatever camera approaches you. Emotionally and mentally, however it is likely that you are much sexier and more appealing for every year that you age.

Be secure in your status and believe in yourself and what you have achieved. Your children are a great reflection of you and you should be proud or both them and your partner. You have to love yourself before anyone else and this is at the essence of making life enjoyable. In most cases, online life coaching experts can be consulted whenever you are feeling a little down about those upcoming big milestones, so important to everyone else!

You have to believe, think and above all act young and I often, when coaching for women, remind them that their life begins at 40. Ask yourself this question – if you didn’t know what your actual age was, how old would you think you were? And no, it isn’t “90”! Now, go strut your stuff, fabulous 40 mum!

Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums and a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms across the globe who long for more time, balance and fulfilment in their busy lives. Download our free eBook especially for working mums with 5 easy ways to achieve balance.

For many new parents, it can be very difficult to comprehend the change in their lives. The arrival of kids can make a huge difference and really change the way that they looked at the relationship and at the very structure of the partnership.

What may have been a perfectly happy marriage can become, rather quickly, a rocky road. Delicate adjustments are needed by both people here as they try and right the boat and this can apply whether you have had kids before, or not. Maintaining a happy and successful relationship when kids come into the equation really does require us to constantly work at our relationship with our other half.

Whenever doubts arise, worries come to the surface or even anger bubbles up, it is important to take a step back and look at the overall picture. You’ve heard the phrase, “can’t see the wood for the trees”? So much is going on that it is easy for parents to become overwhelmed and not know how to cope. Sometimes this leads to the need for additional jobs and causes parents to become complex role players. This can often be a tricky transition and can lead to each person spending more time focusing on their new “position” than on their opposite partner. To take new parents as an example again, “mum” may become somewhat obsessed with the idea of caring for her newborn and the marriage itself may not have as much of a priority.

Meanwhile, new dads can often feel a bit left out and surplus to requirements! In this situation, you might start to believe the mum is the one to look after the kids and step back. The danger here is that he may distance himself from the partnership, assuming that he’s doing the right thing.

Both parties need to watch each other and look for tell-tale signs. Look for signs of overload, irritability or a short temper. Don’t dismiss any negative vibes such as this, as if left to fester small problems tend to grow large, ugly and hard to crack.

Whenever the kids are not around, sit down and have a very deep and meaningful conversation. Ask yourself whether you are being reasonable and ask the other for their honest input. Remind each other that things have changed now that you have additional family members and this is to be understood, priorities now look different.

You both have to work together as a cohesive team to raise your children in the way you want, and you shouldn’t underestimate how much effort and active input this takes from both of you. Give yourselves a pat on the back and never forget that you two represent the lead team in the family!

Don’t think for a moment that this all has to be about doom and gloom! You do need to prioritise time together, but just make sure that your time represents quality time. Can you remember when you had a nice weekend away together? Plan a really nice, romantic dinner and don’t forget those meaningful, romance filled surprises, from back in the day.

Mums can face a considerable challenge, especially if they are working as well and it’s useful to consult experts to help them manage the juggling act and the myriad of emotions they will face along the journey of motherhood. Thankfully, online life coaching is a marvellous way to pick up some truly professional coaching, and when it comes to coaching for women, it’s the perfect place to turn when life becomes manic!

Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums and a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms across the globe who long for more time, balance and fulfilment in their busy lives. Download our free eBook especially for working mums with 5 easy ways to achieve balance.